Monday, August 6, 2007

Pac Man needs a gimmick!

With the wonderful news of Pac Man Jones's signing with TNA Wrestling being confirmed, it is now time to face a very important question--what will his gimmick be?

TNA (Total Nonstop Action) Wrestling is a second rate outfit on Spike TV. It's not bad, but most of its wrestlers are WWE castoffs and rejects and the production values of TNA shows pale in comparison with those of the WWE.

It appears Pac Man WILL be wrestling. On the TNA website, former champion Jeff Jarrett says:

"Over the next couple of months, I think the world is going to see a different side of Pacman, one it hasn’t seen before,” Jarrett said. “You will really see his personality come out, not just his athletic ability. He’s very coachable in the ring and his athletic talent is amazing. He can watch something one time and pick it up. He’s just gifted. He’s the best all-around athlete I have ever seen.”

Awesome. I for one, cannot wait. He'll make his debut this Thursday and also be on hand for Sunday's highly anticipated "Hard Justice" Pay Per View event.

An important question remains, however. What will his gimmick/character be? I think Pac Man would do well to drop his 80's video game nickname and assume an entirely new persona:

The Rain Man.

Its Thursday night. You are drinking Beast Light and watching TNA, like always.
All of a sudden, the lights in the TNA arena go dim...Motley Crue's "Girls, Girls, Girls" starts cranking, and to the ring struts The Rain Man. Escorted by a posse of strippers, Jones pumps up the crowd before his match by "Making it Rain" all over his comely exotic dancer escorts. As they scramble to pick up the dollar bills, The Rain Man could invite women from the crowd to join his harem, surely infuriating the normally high class and reserved male fans that are TNA's trademark, and ensuring him legendary heel status.

As The Rain Man's loyal army of hookers/strippers/trailer MILFs grew, he would become an increasing threat and factor in TNA. The possibilities for ringside distraction by his girls are endless. He could also be given a posse of thug bodyguards who could shoot guys if they got out of line. It's going to be great. He's a hell of an athlete, and probably won't be that bad on the mic.

I can't think of a finishing move either. That will be key.

What am I leaving out? What would you have Pac Man's gimmick be? What about his intro music? These are important questions, people.

No comments:

Welcome. Grab something to read. The seat is nice and warm...

This is the Pre-Game Dump, where our need to babble about sports and shit that bothers us aggregates on a daily basis. Feel free to drop us a friendly line or scathing hate mail: