Thursday, August 2, 2007

Keep honking you prick

Ok, 2 quick things of note this morning before I get back to doing some actual work.

1) John Clayton reports Ron Turner is a genius. Ok, no, no, no. Turner is not a genius. All it really takes is common sense to realize that Devin Hester is a hell of an athlete and you should use him as much as possible. This sort of old-guard mentality in coaching is so pervasive through the ranks (from high school and up) that it's really mind boggling. To me it only seems LOGICAL that Hester should be used as more than a return man. You put your best athletes on the field as much as you can. Houston Nutt finally got it right...unfortunatley for him, McFadden was actually their best quarterback. I don't care if it's college or the NFL, you need to give your team every chance possible. I'm not entirely sure why this isn't driven into the heads of all aspiring coaches.

Do you know the only reason Ben Roethlisberger even played QB? Before the start of Findlay High School's season, the coach lined the team up. He took the tallest players and basically said "throw this thing". Ben ended up being the best combination of height and throwing ability. Big Ten schools embarrassingly passed him over, but needless to say he's done pretty well for himself.

2) On the drive into work this morning some asshole in a black van with government plates was behind me. So I'm coming up to this red light, and going to turn right. I slow down and stop before turning right to check traffic; like a normal, fully functioning person with decent blood pressure would do. While I'm making the stop and looking at traffic, a green turning arrow lights up. Obviously I didn't see this immediately as I was looking the other way, so this dumbfuck behind me absolutely lays on the horn as if I'd just driven backwards onto the expressway with my dick hanging out of the window or something.

I had half a mind to just sit there, but I was already late for work. People are so fucking clueless it makes me sick.

This reminds me of another related incident, back in Ohio. This light was sort of malfunctioning, so we'd ended up sitting for 2 cycles of red/yellow/green for the opposite direction before finally getting our own green. Needless to say, traffic had backed up behind me a bit. I'm a socially concious person. I realize people have shit to do and they don't want to sit in fucking traffic all day, so I try to drive with that in mind, and I want to hurry through this light so that people behind me can make it as well.

Our light turns green, the first 2 or 3 cars move, but these morons in front of me sit there for a good few seconds. I rev my engine a bit to politely urge them on. I see one look back in disgust. It appears to be a guy and his elderly mother (at least I hope he wasn't banging this hag). Finally they move, and proceed at, MAYBE 6mph through this intersection. It's on at this point, I can't stand idiot drivers like this, so I hold in 1st gear revving loudly behind them as they crawl through the green (now yellow, after a whopping 3 cars had made it through) light. They aren't happy.

Now we're a few hundred yards past the light and they've decided to be cute and go 20mph until their left hand turn into some dogshit neighborhood. The guy, with his mom beside him, gives me the finger. Super classy, buddy. I'd had enough and downshifted and flew past them in the shoulder while they sat to make their turn, not missing them by more than a few inches.

I really wish they would have called the cops and sent them to my house just so I could tell the police what an asshat that lady and her son were.

I need a fucking gun.

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