Monday, August 27, 2007

And I thought I was dumb

The dump is back and hopefully for good. A big fuck off to actually doing work at our full time jobs. There's nothing like being the new guy on the project only to have 2 people on your team take week-long vacations every week for the entire month. I guess it's what they're paying me for but something is...a BIT off when I'm actually almost out of breath by 10:30am and I haven't left the chair in 2 hours.






The preceding video, sent to me by my recently engaged UIUC buddy Jerry, has absolutely nothing to do with sports. It has to do with the following, at least in part:

1) extra chromosomes
2) Aimee Teegarden (<3)
3) Iraq, South Africa, maps, education (to some degree)

The answer this girl spits out is almost unimaginable. It is entirely unintelligible, and I've watched it 6 times and I couldn't begin to tell you what the fuck this chick is actually trying to say. Also, I could be wrong, but aren't you allowed to ask for a minute before responding to these on-the-spot questions? She just fires out the most nonsensical bullshit I've ever heard (well, at least the most nonsensical bullshit I've ever heard that didn't come out of my mouth).

Honestly, if this girl is actually this dumb in any arena of life, she'd be better off as a corpse. I realize she's on the spot but she could have said or done anything...I mean she probably could have grabbed the presenter's crotch or farted into the mic and it would not be as disastrous as her quasi-lecture about maps and the Iraqi/South African cold war or whatever the fuck.

A few things of note in the sports world:

- That NBA player from the Wolves who got caught churning the butter in his car while watching porn in like a Kroger parking lot a few years ago got run over by a train and had to be identified by dental records. OUCH.

- College football starts this Saturday. As I've already remarked to Braun my boner is as big as it will get for college football (or any woman) today. I can't wait for that special release on Saturday morning.

- Man U finally got a home win. You know they are hurting when Chris Eagles sees SIGNIFICANT playing time. Tevez was utterly worthless and I would have liked to see Dong play...partly because he's supposedly some Chinese team phenom, but mostly because his name is DONG. As usual the ref's whistle was nowhere to be found on a glaring Man U handball in the penalty box...amazing how frequently that happens at Old Trafford.

- The USA men's basketball team appears to have removed its collective head from its collective ass. Not only did they bring SHOOTERS to the FIBA tournament (good Christ, I'm not basketball genius and I realize that when Carmello Anthony was our start 3 point specialist last time around that we were FUCKED) in Mike Miller and Michael Redd, but they absolutely raped every team they have faced so far. Good job boys.

- The USA Men's U-17 soccer team did not fair so well. Somehow we qualified for the elimination round in the U-17 World Cup, but we lost to Tunisia and Tajikistan. We lost to two countries who are like the answers to bonus questions at an 8th grade spelling bee, or the 2nd and 3rd answers to "where would you never ever want to live" (the 1st is Louisiana).

Last year, the Detroit Tigers showed what free agency, good health, and some home grown talent can do for you. This year all of those have backfired and they're going to struggle to make the playoffs despite the efforts of superhuman Curtis Granderson. If you were to re-pick All-Stars at this point, IMO (and I know it's a bit of a homer pick), this guy should be 2nd to maybe only A-Rod in the AL voting. Somebody please beat these stupid AL West teams so we can at least get the wildcard.

1 comment:

Braun said...

I am SO glad this chick is going to Appalachian State.

Welcome. Grab something to read. The seat is nice and warm...

This is the Pre-Game Dump, where our need to babble about sports and shit that bothers us aggregates on a daily basis. Feel free to drop us a friendly line or scathing hate mail: pregamedump@gmail.com